Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Inevitable?

Hey guys sorry for being inactive for awhile.

 I don't usually like to post my personal problems on my blog but it makes me feel so much better being able to express my thoughts somewhere. So just ignore this post if my personal life doesn't interest you,

Well, I'm currently going through a breakup; I've been with my boyfriend for ~2 years which might not seem like a long time but we've been through so much and lately with all the stress of uni,work,life etc. we've been having some fights. Now my ex bf (so weird calling him that) is the kind that runs away every single time we have a fight and just ignores me and prepares for me to break up with him. Which always irked me a bit because I want to be with someone who wants to fight for me and our relationship. None the less we always worked things out.

However a week or so he wanted to meet up and "talk" which just resulted in me talking to myself for an hour while he sat in silence and then randomly he said he was breaking up with me. I asked him for a reason but he just bluntly replied that he wasn't going to repeat himself. I was so upset and after unsuccessfully trying to get an explanation out of him I just got angry and stormed off. I cried my heart out to my friend and he told me to go back and get a reason because that's the least he owed me after 2 years, so I went back and tried getting a reason out of him but he just remained silent, then eventually he said " we don't work" and ran off. 

Yes, he ran off! At first I was so angry and confused that he did that to me and later that night one of his friends told me that my ex thought he did the right thing. That made me so angry! The fact that he believed his actions were acceptable so I went through the phase of 'He's an ass! I hate him! I deserve better etc.' but I still found myself crying to myself every now and then. Then I realised that it was so unlike him to act like that, I've known him for practically my entire highschool life and I should give him the benefit of the doubt because there must've been a reason why he treated me like that, so along came the ' I'm a Psychotic & Desperate bitch phase' but he just ignored all my attempts to contact him.

Basically I was emotionally unstable for awhile, then one night I was talking to my friend desperately asking him to help me think of ways to get him back because I felt so pathetic for moping over someone who treated me like that and being so helpless in the situation made me feel so sad and I hated that.
Then my friend told me it was okay to be sad that I should be worried if I wasn't crying so hard. 

I know it might sound stupid that I didn't realise this earlier but after talking to my friend things became so much clearer. It was okay for me to be sad, because that just reflected how happy the relationship made me because without the sadness I would never be able to appreciate the happiness that the relationship bought me and he wasn't an ass, he was a good guy who always treated me with respect and love but he just did a shitty thing eh? I mean don't we all and it's okay. I wont hold a grudge against him rather I'm grateful and blessed that I was able to share those memories with him because he taught me so much about love, life and most importantly me and for that I thank him.

So I no longer want to dwell on all the 'would've, could've and shouldve' but rather I want to focus on what the future holds for me. There is no point in holding onto something that may not exist anymore but even though we couldn't work out as a couple; we were once friends and that made us both happy too and as I always say "time and faith" so in time I believe we will be able to make each other smile again.
 I'm slowly but surely moving on in my own way and I don't think I could've done it without my family and friends. ♥♥♥

Once again sorry for the inadequate posts, I promise to start posting properly again. (:

Monday, January 2, 2012

New Years Eve - OOTD

" I haven't showered since last year!" 

Ahaha! I'm so lame ): I always crack the " I haven't _______ since last year!" lines when it's a new year.
Only a few days into 2012 and I already feel so busy.
Hope everyone enjoyed NYE; fireworks are a great way to start off the new year!


I spent mine in the city with a few friends, originally I was suppose to go with a few of my girlfriends but stuff came up and I only ended up going with my boys instead ;  so that just means cam-whoring by myself! ^~^""
Before we headed into the city I met up with my friend to have dinner and I saw these two guys drive a zebra smart car. It's so cute! I always wanted a smart car but my dad thinks it's dangerous.

We headed into the city at around 8:30, when we arrived it was jam-packed as usual... soo glad I went
with the boys I'm way too short and I kept getting pushed around.

We just bummed around and hunted for food until it was almost midnight then we went and sat in Alexandra Gardens to watch the fireworks! The fireworks weren't that spectacular this year but none the less still pretty!

Afterwards we attempted to go the station but it impossible especially because the Arts Centre was on fire because something went wrong with the fireworks? I'm not really that sure.. but we headed down to hungry jacks :3 and bummed around some more until 3 then we headed home. 

I stayed at my friend's house and omgosh his dog is so cute and his foot is the same size as mine! He almost knocked me over a few times when he thwampthwamped his tail haha!


Here's my outfit for NYE. Originally I was going to glam up with heels etc. but then I realised none of the boys were gonna take pictures with me so I just wore whatever. 

*Once again, I apologise for the horrible quality of the photos.. using my phone as a camera is much more convenient, but I'll definitely try to start using my camera again!